MANAGING EMOTIONS IN DIVORCE
Emotions can be triggered by events during the divorce that when acted on can make the divorce process even more difficult. Emotions will rise when spouses or ex-spouses have to interact with regards to the challenges of the divorce.
Divorce brings out all kinds of emotions such as fear, guilt, anger, sadness, etc. It is important to stay in charge of these divorce emotions so they do not cloud your judgment or decision making ability.
To help identify your emotional challenges at the time of divorce it is first important to identify your own personal fears and strong negative emotions.
What are some ways you can take control of your fearful emotions during divorce?
1. Visualization- Identify which divorce situation makes you feel angry, sad or fearful and visualize how you are going to react from a place of calmness and security. What will you say? How will you feel physically? What can you do differently?
2. Push Pause- When you feel a negative emotion during the divorce process instead of just reacting push the pause button. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. If you need to excuse yourself to maintain control say it. “I am feeling angry or upset and need to step away”. Taking a moment to diffuse what triggers you will better, more sustainable results in your divorce and for the long-run.
3. Challenging Self-Talk and challenging your thoughts about the divorce is another way to work with negative emotions. When we leave a relationship we often have stories about the partner that we tell ourselves over and over. These include blame and judgment. My spouse cheated on me. They can’t be trusted. I can’t trust anyone now. I should have known they were cheating. I must be stupid for not knowing. I am obviously blindsided and now can not make decisions and must take a defensive stand. Challenge this self-talk so that you can move forward. Because with it you will only create more pain in your divorce than is necessary.
Divorce is a business and the negative emotions during this process can create more pain, harm and expense than is necessary. If you are struggling with emotions of divorce I recommend you schedule a consultation with Carol Delzer, Certified Family Law Specialist, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist and expert in matters of divorce and talk with her. When you visit Family Law Center you will receive Carol’s book free “Divorce Done Easier.”
Contact Carol at info@FamilyLawCenter.US or call for a consultation 916.488.5088