Making the change from a husband-wife relationship to a co-parent relationship requires focusing on the present and on your child’s needs. Start by letting go of past resentments, regrets and blame. Look for solutions!

Once you change your mindset, this may help to open doors in reaching agreement on the issues in your case. To aid this transition:

• Keep agreements and promises you make to help rebuild trust with your former spouse.
• Keep money issues and parent-child relationship issues separate so that children are not burdened with support or other financial issues.
• Do not say degrading things about each other in front of the children.
• Don’t be overly critical or try to control the other parent.
• Respect the other parent’s privacy.
• Set up periodic meetings to discuss the children and the children’s progress only.

Continued love and concern from both parents will help a child’s self-esteem. It is important for the parent who does not have physical custody to maintain consistent and routine contact with the children. A more harmonious co-parent relationship will go a long way towards minimizing and healing the pain experienced by children during a divorce.