Parents want the best for their children, but divorce and relationship breakups happen every day which can cause tension for the entire family. Sadly, children often become the innocent victims of a negative breakup experience.

But you can change that situation and protect your children from the heartbreak, chaos and expense that often make the divorce process traumatic.

The Collaborative Co-parenting web site offers an 8-week online course on how to support and nuture your children during divorce and how to avoid the mistakes of others. This is your opportunity to give your children the chance to look back on these years as a happy period touched by divorce, rather than a childhood devastated by it.

The Collaborative co-parenting approach means finding a way to work with your co-parent with dignity and respect. What was once a personal relationship becomes more like a business relationship wherein both parties set aside personal feelings for the benefit of the children. During divorce, children need to look to both parents for guidance and support.

If you feel the road you’re on right now with your co-parent is rocky or you want to learn more ideas for collaborative co-parenting, then visit Collaborative Co-parenting online.

Further reading:
Pick up a free copy of the book 8 Weeks To Collaborative Co-parenting by Carol F. Delzer, M.A., J.D. at Family Law Center, 1722 Professional Drive, Sacramento, CA 95825. Phone: 916.488.5088.

It is also a good idea to write down your questions and concerns in advance. This way you can cover everything you need to talk about without having to schedule numerous meetings or repeatedly call back with questions.

If you happen to have an existing case with the court, bring copies of any documents that have been filed. If you have misplaced these documents, you can go to the court to obtain a copy from your file. Providing this information at your consultation will go a long way toward an effective and efficient consultation.

After your initial consultation, you will need to create an inventory of your property and debts. This doesn’t mean listing every teaspoon, but it does mean listing all large assets and placing an overall value on your assets. You will need to provide paperwork for property that you will be listing, such as statements for investment accounts and current figures for credit card balances. Providing this information in a complete and prompt manner will help move your case forward. A list of documents that are needed to complete the list of your assets and debts is available here.

Fortunately, you can control the costs by working together. Even though divorce is painful and you may not feel inclined to cooperate, it’s usually in your best interests. You will save a large amount of money—money that you need to start a new life—if you and your spouse can work together.

In one famous case, a woman named Denise Rossi won $1.3 million in the California State Lottery in 1996. She concealed the winnings from her husband of 25 years and filed for a divorce 11 days later. Two years after the divorce was finalized, her ex-husband discovered that she had won the lottery. He took her to court and the judge gave all of the $1.3 million dollar lottery winnings to the husband. Even if you haven’t won the lottery, concealing assets is not worth the risk.

It’s common for divorcing couples to feel anger and pain at the beginning of the divorce process, but it’s important to understand that California is a “no-fault” divorce state. That means that whatever your spouse did during your marriage has no bearing on the outcome of your case, except under certain circumstances where child custody and visitation are at issue.

Because raising children together during and after a divorce can be difficult, Family Law Center has a new co-parent education program available to all their clients. It is a convenient online program that clients can use in the privacy of their own homes—at no charge.

Here’s an interesting article from Examiner.com about how communication can help save you money in a divorce: Your link to saving pain and expense during your divorce.

Once you change your mindset, this may help to open doors in reaching agreement on the issues in your case. To aid this transition:

• Keep agreements and promises you make to help rebuild trust with your former spouse.
• Keep money issues and parent-child relationship issues separate so that children are not burdened with support or other financial issues.
• Do not say degrading things about each other in front of the children.
• Don’t be overly critical or try to control the other parent.
• Respect the other parent’s privacy.
• Set up periodic meetings to discuss the children and the children’s progress only.

Continued love and concern from both parents will help a child’s self-esteem. It is important for the parent who does not have physical custody to maintain consistent and routine contact with the children. A more harmonious co-parent relationship will go a long way towards minimizing and healing the pain experienced by children during a divorce.